Monthly Archives: April 2015

Spoiler Alert: Fear + Resistance Never Really Go Away

How to make better decisions

As many of you know, I hit a big business milestone in March (and wasn’t exactly shy about sharing it).

And for the first few days of April, I celebrated.

Happy dances danced. Imaginary confetti tossed. Champagne bottles popped.

“Damn I’m good at sales,” I congratulated myself. “I’m totally crushing this whole entrepreneur thing!”

I wrote out my goals for the next four months, launched a Facebook ad campaign, led a live call, received a slew of positive feedback, and felt a rush of that magical “it’s all finally happening” excitement (you know what I’m talking about).

Then suddenly…out of nowhere….

FEAR. TERROR. ALL-CONSUMING ANXIETY.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

“What if my recent success was just a fluke?” I panicked, my chest suddenly tied up in knots. “What if I never get hired again? Everyone’s gonna think I’m a huge failure…” and down the rabbit hole I tumbled.

I let my apartment get really messy…tripped and hurt my toe…ate an entire box of cookies…and stayed up until 5am watching Netflix….2 nights in a row.

I woke up Saturday morning groggy, bloated, and full of shame.

“WTF am I doing?!?,” I wondered. “I’m a freaking coach! Things are going well!”

But then I remembered….

Fear + resistance never really go away, no matter what milestones we reach. Our egos are crafty, and will continue to try to derail our progress (in a screwed up attempt to keep us safe).

But we can get wayyyy better at dealing with our resistance and fear, and significantly cut down the time it takes for us to move through it and bounce back.

Here’s what I did to move through my stuff:

  • I prayed to God to help me get back on track and committed to loving myself through my process (every time I caught myself going to that, “Rebecca, you suck” place, I stopped and repeated a loving + affirming mantra).
  • I “outed” my fear to my coach and a few close friends.
  • I journaled my heart out.
  • I listened to a few of Gina Devee’s podcasts (this woman is the bomb.com, just saying)

Slowly I started to feel a better.  And on Sunday I started to feel some MAJOR energetic shifts + juicy new ideas (stay tuned).

When I sat down to write this post, it was supposed to be a set of tips for dealing with resistance (minus my personal story).  “I can’t let people know how messy, raw and human I am,” I thought.  “If they knew my life wasn’t pink and sparkly all the time, they’d never want to hire me.”

BULLSHIT.

Just because I’m a coach, doesn’t mean I have to have it all together all the time. I don’t.  In fact, all I really have to do is be committed to my growth and the growth of my clients. I have to be LIVING this work, feeling it all, and allowing myself to move through it.

And the same is true for you.

Being a coach, hitting a big business milestone, or having some level of success, doesn’t mean you won’t still wobble, struggle, or fall down sometimes. You will.

But you’ll also get back up.

Again. And again. And again.

You will go deeper into your own process, and every time you do, your ability to be with + support your clients through their stuff will expand.

And if you’re brave enough to mine your challenges for the golden “teachable nuggets”, and begin to share your experiences with the world, you’re marketing will become more magnetic than ever before.

Because potential clients, readers, friends and really anyone for that matter want your truth (and if they don’t, they’re not your people).

This isn’t to say that you should use your clients as therapy or your blog as a journal, but when you share what you’re going through from a place of love, vulnerability, and authenticity, people can feel it.

And it’s so powerful.

So my challenge to you this week is two-fold.

1) To love yourself even more deeply as you move through your process (however messy and imperfect).

2) To be more vulnerable and real in your marketing–even, or rather, especially, if it makes you a little bit uncomfortable.

The world doesn’t need another life coach pretending to be perfect.  It needs YOU in all your raw, messy, imperfect and oh so fabulous glory.

And don’t you forget it!

xo

Rebecca

Ps. Are you caught in the throws of fear and resistance around growing your business?  I’d love to support you!  Click here to book a free clarity call!