Monthly Archives: October 2015

Afraid people will judge you if you “come out of the closet” as a coach?

pic for post

To be your most powerful self in the world and grow the business you are capable of, it’s vitally important that you shed light onto the fears and blocks standing in your way.

And one of the biggest fears I hear again and again from my clients is the fear of disapproval and judgment from others.

I’ll invite them to post about their business on Facebook or start introducing themselves as a coach when they’re out and about in the world, and they’ll say something like,

“OMG I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.  What if people criticize and judge me? What if my family and friends don’t approve or think I’m crazy? What if I have haters?”

The fear of criticism is POWERFUL.

And on a certain level this makes sense. Outspoken women have been metaphorically (and literally) bunt at the stake for centuries. The fear of being judged and shamed is woven into the collective unconscious of our society. But what we often don’t realize, at least on a conscious level, is that it is actually safe to speak our truth now.

Western women have more power to share our voices and express ourselves than anywhere else and at any other time in history. But many of us have a deeply entrenched need for approval that is holding us back.

Ask yourself:

  • Does the fear of criticism or disapproval strike a chord with you?
  • If you really spoke your truth, who are you worried you might offend or disappoint?
  • Is their approval really worth you playing small and not achieving your dreams? (put another way, if you had to choose between these people’s approval and a big pile of money + personal satisfaction, which would you pick?)

Here’s the thing.

When you first start your coaching business (before you have a fancy website, professional photos, or marketing systems and structures in place) the easiest way to get hired is through acquaintances and friends of friends.  But the only way that word of mouth will happen is if you are open and confident about being a coach!

The following quote by Danielle LaPorte sums up my thoughts on the fear of disapproval perfectly:

“I have never met someone who is living a bold and successful life—and by successful I mean prosperous, kind, and in touch with the meaningfulness of what he’s doing—who has apologized for being perfectionist, mercurial, unrelenting, or whatever his slightly controversial hallmark characteristics are. You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, to soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.”