CONFESSION TIME:

This weekend I missed two separate buses to NYC and spent an extra $270 on a last minute train ticket in order to make it to my grandmother’s birthday brunch.  Which I showed up to late, sans gift, and sporting a mass of crazy windblown hair and snow-drenched clothes.

And I had a wonderful time.

A few years ago, however, this would not have been the case.  I would have been so caught up in a mental loop of self-criticism that the whole afternoon would have been toast.

What changed?

I’ve decided to forgive myself.

For missing buses.  For making cringe-worthy typos in important emails. For getting parking tickets.  For fumbling my words when I want to appear calm, cool, and collected. For unintentionally hurting people I love.  For getting hurt.  And for being absolutely, completely and irrevocably imperfect.

And I invite you to do the same.

Because no matter what mistakes you’ve made or how you’ve failed to measure up, you are deeply and completely OK.

Self-forgiveness isn’t about granting yourself a free pass from trying your best or from making amends for your mistakes.  But it is about softening your inner dialogue when you do miss the mark, and treating yourself with as much kindness, compassion and love as possible.

And it’s not just for your own benefit.  Because how you are with yourself is ultimately how you will be with others. And just as you will F up royally from time to time, so too will the people you love.

The more regularly you practice forgiving yourself and others, the more happiness, freedom and love you will experience, causing a ripple effect in the world.

So the next time you do something you wish you hadn’t and feel yourself getting sucked into that familiar cycle of self-criticism, pause.  Take a few deep breaths and try a gentler approach.  It’s a better way to live.  Promise.

There you are—cruising around minding your own business—when OUT OF THE BLUE life throws you a curve ball.

–An ex-boyfriend’s engagement photos pop up on your newsfeed.

–A co-worker makes an underhanded comment about you in front of your boss.

–Someone steals your parking spot…and is downright RUDE about it.

Whatever it is, suddenly your good mood has vanished you’re left feeling unhinged, upset, and out of whack.

This is super frustrating, especially when you were in a pretty cheery state of mind.  It can almost feel like a person or event stole your good mood and to make matters worse, you might be tempted to judge yourself for “overreacting” about your #firstworldproblem, after all people are starving all over the world, aren’t they?

Well what if I told you that having an external event throw you off center is one of the best things that can possibly happen to you?

You’d probably assume I’m smoking something, after all I’m kind of hippy dippy and how could feeling bad possibly be a good thing?

Here’s why: Every time you get thrown off course or triggered in a negative way, you have a chance to auto correct and come back to center.  To grow stronger in faith and love. 

When you’re new to the self-love and self-acceptance game, getting yourself back to a state of positivity can be reallllly tough, especially when something hits a nerve.  But it’s a lot like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets and the more resilient you become.

Last year I attended a Marianne Williamson lecture and she spoke about this.  She used the metaphor of a GPS, saying that every time we make a wrong turn or are thrown off in some way, the Universal GPS re-routes us to our destination, and that with each and every re-route, a lesson is learned and we grow stronger.

So the next time you’re knocked off center by a situation or person outside yourself, I invite you to see it as an opportunity for some spiritual weight training and repeat the following affirmation:

I choose to see this upsetting event as an opportunity to deepen my faith and my commitment to living life with love.  I recognize that other people’s actions towards me have more to do with them than me.  I choose to forgive whoever has hurt me and recognize that they are doing the best they can with what they know. When I see the situation as a blessing that is helping me grow stronger, I can forgive and set us both free.

The biggest key here is to realize that your emotional landscape is always under your control.  Even though it may feel as though external events have the power to bulldoze over your happiness, that is NOT the case.  And every time you pull yourself out of a reactionary funk you become more powerful more positive and more unstoppable than before.

Wishing you peace, love, and more fabulous than you know what to do with!

Rebecca

Dear Universe,

Today may I be of great service to the world. May I practice what I preach. May I bring light and warmth to all who cross my path. May I stay positive in the face of any negative energy or obstacles. May I be aware of destructive thought patterns as they creep in and may I consciously replace them with self-love and acceptance. May remember that abundance and love are my birthright and may I be a living example of all I believe.

Amen

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As your Tryptophan coma subsides and you jump back into your normal routine tomorrow, do your best to take that Turkey day feeling of gratitude with you.  To help you out, I’ve assembled a few of my fav gratitude-inducing practices in the video above!

DEEPLY grateful for each and every one of you and have a FABULOUS week!