I just realized that I equate my business earning past a certain point with “having to work outside of my zone of genius” and “experiencing more interpersonal conflict.”

To really get to my next “level” so to speak in business I have believed that I would need to manage a big team of people, that it would be complicated, burdensome, emotionally messy, and heavy…

Additionally I had it that I would no longer feel “free” and “creative” (my core desired feelings) because I would have created a “job.”

And furthermore, that I would spend most of my time in the role of project manager, organizing, making lists, and constantly checking in/micromanaging to make sure everyone is doing what they’re supposed to do all the time (my personal idea of hell).

And that if I create a team and they see how “messy” “disorganized” and “flakey” I am, I’ll be exposed and judged.

And that I’m way too “intuitive” and “creative” to actually lead a team of people in “the real world.”

But here’s the thing…

NONE of this is actually truth.

It’s just been my perception based on what I’ve seen in my past work experience viewed from a disempowered headspace.

But if I can consciously create my reality in certain areas (which I’ve proven to myself that I can) than I CAN CREATE MY LIFE IN ALL AREAS.

And once this really set in, I started to realize all the ways that more money and more team would actually allow me to be more creative and free.

Which if you think about it?

Is FUCKING cool.

PS. “Flakey” is no longer a word I used to describe myself – it’s internalized patriarchal shame for changing my mind based on my intuition – which is actually brave as fuck and one of my biggest assets as an entrepreneur.

Fuck this “I’m no longer ashamed of how I’ve handled money in the past” bullshit – I’m motherfucking proud bitches.😂

When you become an entrepreneur, the money rules change and success requires a wildly different mindset.

STOP SHAMING YOURSELF FOR ANY WAY THAT SOCIETY MAY DEEM YOU UNWORTHY.

It’s literally a load of crap.

Debt is temporary, but leaping into the unknown in the direction of your dreams, betting on yourself, and full-on going for it over and over again is an investment that will yield epic returns for the rest of your life.

“Fuck…I was too shiny” I reflexively thought to myself.

It was an instant reaction, but I FELT it.

It’s funny – the month before I left for my year plus of travels (January 2016) was my highest earning month in business and was a time when I was doing mindset work like it was my full time job.

And…it worked.

I was making bank.

But I remember flying (business class) to Uruguay and meeting a few people on the plane (who were flying coach) and instantly feeling (or perhaps imagining?) judgment in their eyes.

“Fuck…I can’t be the ‘rich bitch’ here. I won’t have any friends,” I remember thinking.

And in the weeks to follow – staying in an old hotel with paper thin walls in Uruguay with the rest of the group, I stopped my morning mindset practice.

I didn’t want to make people uncomfortable.

I didn’t want to be too weird.

I didn’t want to be too happy.

I didn’t want to be too shiny.

I traded a bit of my radiance for a sense of belonging and connection.

This has zero to do with the people in the program – they are kick ass and many of them are dear friends. Nobody told me in any way shape or form to do this.

I did it because of my perception and fear of what they would think of me.

So I stopped myself.

I slowed my business.

I subconsciously pumped the breaks on wealth creation while consciously continuing to “do all the things.”

And after a while…I started to forget just how motherfucking powerful I am.

Lately (really ever since I got back to DC) I’ve been remembering…and it’s been delicious.

And today talking to my friend it really hit me exactly what happened last year (from a mindset perspective) in my business.

No judgment.
No shame.
No guilt.

Just understanding. And compassion. And love.

>>You won’t fully stand for people when their intuition is guiding them to hire you because a part of you will buy into their story that money is hard for them or that paying you will be stressful…

>>You won’t unapologetically promote your services with full conviction because you’ll be afraid of your power as a marketer….

>>You’ll cling to stories where you still feel “victimized” by past buying decisions rather than fully owning your part in creating EVERY situation in your life – and then you’ll attract people who have similar victim stories/energy around money…

To fully embrace and own the fact that we are living in a Law of Attraction based Universe, you have to break a few socially agreed upon contracts – and THAT is the real work you need to do.

You actually don’t have to focus on perfecting your marketing or learning more in order to increase your income as a coach (unless it’s your next, intuitively guided step).

You need to focus on clearing away any part of you that still believes you can’t have what you want or that having what you want will cause harm to others.

And then relax, trust your guidance, be nice to yourself, and watch how easily and quickly you grow your online empire…

People comment, engage, and message me to inquire about working together.

We get on the phone and I listen deeply.

If my soul starts dancing and I feel I could deeply help this person, I share my package and invite them to work with me.

I answer any questions that arise with the goal of leaving this human being more clear and empowered after the call (no convincing them in any way shape or form but activating their power and intuition).

If it’s aligned (which 9 out of 10 times if we’ve gotten that far it is), we move forward with working together.

I send them a contract + payment link and my business manager reaches out to them to book their sessions in my calendar.

I make my own vibration my #1 priority and show up to calls ready to be of service.

That’s it.

It’s actually not that complicated.

You got this 

I felt like the biggest fraud/loser ever – but instead of hiding that and pretting everything was flowing along beautifully (what my ego wanted to do) I TALKED ABOUT IT. Publicly.

I published the monst honest/scary/tender post I’d ever written on Facebook, and interestingly, it was the first time I went “mini-viral.” Hundreds of likes and comments.

Since then the opportunities to be vulnerable haven’t stopped (basically if you are a human you will have no shortage of “vulnerable marketing content” lol).

All of that to say…

I actually do a happy dance whenever I see someone embracing vulnerability in their marketing. I want it desperately.

1) For selfish reasons – it makes my FB newsfeed FAR more interesting to read.

2) Because I want to live in a world where people feel less shame, where social media is a force of connection rather than isolation and comparison.

3) I know in my gut that if people aren’t actually willing to WALK THE WALK of vulnerability and authenticity – no one will listen or care (talking about something without embodying it is boring).

Seriously.

We’re all getting wiser and more intuitive by the day. We can FEEL when a message is not really true and it does NOT inspire us to whip out our credit cards.

So no, people using truth and authenticity as marketing tactics do not worry me in the slightest – because doing so won’t actually work (in the long term) unless they actually do the work. And the work? Is something I desperately want more people to do.

She then went on to post how much money she makes and write a long ranty post about “people like me” on her own Facebook wall. When I lovingly responded she continued to be mean spirited (it honestly felt like she was trying to pick a fight/wanted me to be wrong/bad).

It would be easy to dismiss her as crazy, but she is a coach with a large following (bigger than mine for sure) and we have a lot of friends in common (though don’t know each other personally). The whole thing really shook me if I’m being honest. I can see how what I wrote could be interpreted as shaming (though it was not at all my intention), but I was honestly shocked by how she reacted. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me and am open to alternative perspectives, but expect a level of kindness among coaches. I ended up deleting her comments and blocking her.

AWESOME THING: 
I had a call with a woman who writes for Inc and Arianna Huffington’s new publication, Thrive, about what it was like to travel to 12 countries in 12 months while running a business, and she wants to feature me in 2 upcoming articles, one in each publication. I didn’t pitch her, she reached out to ME.

THE UNIVERSE IS FUNNY LIKE THAT.

Sometimes we get upsetting and awesome within the span of an hour and it’s hard to know what to make of it all (and as humans it’s so tempting to make it all MEAN something, isn’t it?).

I think the truth is that it is up to us how we interpret what’s happening in our lives and the conclusions we draw.

We get to decide if we are “succeeding” or “failing”, which, if you think about it, is actually pretty cool.

THIS IS A DEFENSE MECHANISM.

It is not “truth”.

When you hire a coach or healer because of a deep soul “yes” it is not an accident or a mistake. It’s just not SUPPOSED to be 100% sunshine and unicorns.

It is supposed to grow you into the the next version of yourself.

And typically that doesn’t happen without a little friction.

So if you find yourself judging the fuck out of the person you pay tons of money each month to help you find love/lose weight/tap into your intuition/grow your business – ask yourself:

What’s REALLY going on?

Could your ego just be trying to distract you from the growth opportunity sitting right in front of your nose?

**NOTE: Occasionally there are crazy situations and bad apples in this industry, but typically, you’re just dealing with a human being, presenting you with the perfect opportunity to further heal your shit.