Last month I was invited by a super sweet woman who I met briefly at a conference to take part in her online summit.

The topic?

How to hit consistent $10K months as a coach.

Here was my (probably longer than she bargained for) response:

Hi love,

Thank you for your invitation. I’m honored you thought of me.

As a rule, I only email my list about people who’s work I am deeply familiar with, so if promotion is required, I’m going to have to politely pass.

Additionally, I’m not sure I’m the “right” person to speak on this topic. Though I fit your technical definition, my thoughts may conflict with your message.

In short? The “10k month” milestone (so often touted as an “I’ve made it” badge among coaches) is NOT the dream I “sell” or stand for.

1) I believe it’s misleading…

For starters, what constitutes a $10k month EXACTLY?

Is this booked income (people paying you this amount over the course of several months) or banked income (actual money in the bank)? And are we talking gross profit? Or take home profit after taxes and expenses (which can be quite high when you’re starting out if you “do all the things” experts recommend, like hiring a coach, running FB ads, launching a website, etc.). These can be VERY different numbers that new coaches don’t take into consideration.

2) The fact that we so often only talk about a single month‘s revenue disturbs me. 

It’s SO indicative of the fast-cash nature of the coaching industry. I’m honestly less interested in learning from someone who has had a few 10 or even 100K+ months but has only been around for 6 months (those of you reading this who are not in the coaching industry, this is actually not as unusual as you might think). I’m MUCH more interested in learning from someone who has been at this game for at least 5 years and perhaps has less “flash” but more SUSTAINABILITY.

3) While I’m all for money being a less taboo topic (and think when people share their numbers it can be inspiring), money alone provides an incomplete picture of “success” in my book.

I’ll be the first to cheer on a woman making 6 figures running her dream business….but I also want to know:

• How are her intimate relationships?
• When’s the last time she had belly laugh, an adventure, or heck, a good night’s sleep?
• How does she FEEL in her body when she wakes up in the morning?
• Is she GENEROUS with her time and resources?
• Do her clients feel like they are getting amazing value (and renew again and again)…or does she run a business of almost exclusively 1-time buyers?

These are IMPORTANT questions to ask when you’re thinking about hiring someone (or feel stuck comparing yourself to another coach who seems to be “crushing it.”).

If you feel comfortable having me on, knowing that these are my views and that I am unable to promote this to my list, I’d be happy to.

Warmly,

Rebecca

Now, I do not intend for this post to be a downer. Simply a call for greater transparency and real-talk in this industry in service of sustainability.

Does this strike a chord (or hit a nerve) with you?

Leave a comment below and let me know 🙂

IF YOU TOLD THE TRUTH ON FACEBOOK FOR 20 DAYS STRAIGHT…WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO YOUR BUSINESS?

I’m about to find out…

Instead of a typical “launch” for my 2017 Mastermind, I’m going to conduct a little marketing experiment (with myself as the Guinnea pig).

You guys, I am NOT easy to coach.

Like, not at all.

I feel a little bit bad for every coach that has to work with me (except for the business coaches…I’m much nicer to them for some reason. Probably because my ego feels safe talking strategy…).

THERE IS A MAJOR MISSING LINK IN THE CURRENT CONVERSATION AROUND “MANIFESTING”….

Getting clear about what you want? It’s not enough.

Taking action to make it happen? Still not enough.

1) Earlier this year I thought to myself, “Wow, I would really love to be featured in Business Insider, I think it would be great for my brand….Universe, show me the way.”

2) I started seeing a few big-name coaches have their stories in Business Insider (all of whom have been around way longer than me and make more money than I do…at least according to their websites). But I’ve never been one to let that sort of thing stop me. “If she can do it, I can too” has always been my mantra.

3) I started researching and realized all the stories about these coaches were written by the same Editor. I looked closer and realized that it appeared that many of the people featured were all a part of a certain publicity coach’s high level mastermind (to the tune of $25k/year)…and this woman was friends with the editor.

4) “Interesting” I thought to myself. I bet I can get into Business Insider without spending a dime. (Game On, Universe).

5) I pitched the editor my story in April…and never heard back.

6) I followed up a few weeks later with a slightly different angle…and once again, crickets.

7) I began leaving comments on the articles she wrote regularly…”maybe she’ll notice me this way?” I thought. Still nothing.

8) I got frustrated, why was I even trying this hard? Did this even matter? I let it go for the time being.

9)Then I saw that my uncle, who is a published author was quoted by this same editor. I wrote to him asking how it happened and he replied with something along the lines of, “when you are a published author, people just come to you.”

“Hmmm…I guess I’m just not a big enough deal?” I thought to myself. I felt a little sour about the whole thing.

10) Then one of my friends on Remote Year was featured in Business Insider by THIS SAME EDITOR about being a remote worker and something clicked:

• I wonder if she’d be interested in a story about what it’s like to be a remote entrepreneur rather than a coach? Looking back I see how this is one of the most interesting parts of my story, but sometimes it’s hard to see ourselves objectively and pinpoint our most media-friendly angles (something I help my clients and students with).
• I also tried to put myself in her (probably very busy) shoes…and realized I would be more likely to get coverage if I actually wrote the piece rather than pitching a piece about me (seems like a no brainer, right? But again, it’s hard to see our own blindspots).

11) I decided I would give it one last shot, I mean I didn’t want to seem like a desperate pathetic loser who couldn’t take a hint (yep, that’s where my mind goes). But something told me I was getting closer (this is how The Universe works by the way…when you get closer to the thing you are manifesting you start seeing evidence of it all around you and receive more information and ideas about HOW to make it happen).I sent the pitch…and heard crickets for another month and a half.

12) I put the whole thing on the back burner deciding, “If it’s meant to happen, it will happen”) and focused on other things. During that time I was quoted in The Guardian without having to put in ANY effort…it felt like The Universe whispering, “You’re getting warmer…”

13) Then, one morning out of the blue a few weeks ago, the Business Insider editor wrote back. “We’re less interested in the “coach” aspect of your story but very interested in the “remote entrepreneur” angle. “Send over a draft” she wrote. “No promises, but we’ll take a look.”

14) I spent days perfecting the piece, created a brand new opt-in gift related to this article (I wanted readers to opt into my email list to make the most of the exposure, and hired a designer to make a beautiful landing page (www.thepursuitoffabulous.com/traveltools). I mean, if I’m gonna do this, I might as well do it right, right?

15) I sent her the story…and a few days later IT WAS LIVE ON BUSINESS INSIDER!!!

Click here to read it!

I love getting surprised. By a city. By a person. By an experience.

To be honest, I was NOT looking forward to spending August in Belgrade, Serbia…especially while I was launching the 4th round of my group program, Marketing Mastery.

I thought it would be hot and ugly. Like the redheaded step-child of eastern Europe.
Especially after spending July in Prague (which is basically a real-life version of the game Candyland, I had a beautiful 2-bedroom apartment to myself and worked from a gorgeous converted embassy) I was expecting August to be a major let down…
But then I got here…and I kinda don’t hate it.

• Belgrade does coffee like nobody’s business. Chilling outside for hours on end at a bar that only serves coffee? Totally normal. And I really, really like my caffeine…
• They party…on the water! If you know me you know that I’m the opposite of a club person…but it’s not for reasons people might think. I actually LOVE bouncing around and talking to people…and the dance floor is totally my happy place…but I just hate being confined in a dark crowded room. And I don’t process alcohol well. Like worse than anyone I know. On top of that, when I’m at a bar or club, it’s like my intuition and energetic sensitivity go on overdrive and while everyone around me is numbing out and letting loose, I can feel all their stuff…it’s weird.
  But outdoor clubs on the water?! I really, really like them. I also think there just this growing comfort with the people I’m traveling with where I can order a latte while everyone else is downing champagne and nobody gives a fuck. And I like it. I guess that was always true but there’s something about traveling with people for 6 months that just allows you to fully relax into who you are around them.
• I’m making friends with the gritty…in every area of my life. It’s interesting that I’m visiting the “ugliest” city of my year long trip during the time when my anxiety has been at an all-time high with my group program launch. Coincidence? I think not. But I’m realizing that just because a physical place or an emotional state isn’t traditionally “beautiful”, doesn’t mean it isn’t BEAUTIFUL. My anxt-y, shaddow-y side is proving to be an excellent marketing advisor (apparently people like it when you tell the truth about your pain and struggles? Who knew!)

Sometimes the beauty is in the complexity, the contrast, the mix of all the things together that makes life more dynamic and interesting.

Kind of like this #nofilter view from my kitchen window of the sun setting over the gritty Belgrade Skyline.

Anyhow…that’s what I’m thinking about this Tuesday morning…how about you? What’s present? What’s moving through?

If you’ve never met me in person, you probably don’t know this, but I have a hand tremor.

Usually it’s not too noticeable, but when caffeine kicks in or I have low blood sugar, my hands get pretty damn shaky (like, I could never be a surgeon, shaky).

For years I’ve felt so much shame around my tremor. I felt like it made me look like I was nervous (even when I wasn’t). I’ve made jokes about it and laughed it off if I accidentally spilled a drink, but it has always felt distinctly “uncool”.

Anyway over the weekend I was in a room of over 100 women entrepreneurs at a posh hotel in Beverly Hills, and I was excited.

My hair looked good, I felt confident in my outfit, and I was excited to be one of the speakers at this event, and meet women in person who I’ve been connected to online.

But as I was mingling in the morning, I could feel my hands shaking as I held my coffee cup, and found myself wondering, “Do the girls I’m talking to notice? Do they think I’m nervous? Do they think less of me?”

Lately I have been getting 1 central memo from The Universe on repeat:

Be vulnerable, be vulnerable be vulnerable.

Take off the mask of “perfection” and show the world your awkward, wobbly (or in this case, shaky) parts.

I feel like my shaky hands were my vulnerability at the event. In a situation where it’s so tempting to put on a mask of “I’m a polished powerful entrepreneur” the shaky hands made me human, raw, relatable.

I talked about the experience with a few women at my table and was met with so much love and appreciation for being vulnerable. Later that night I posted about it on my Facebook page and it received well over 100 likes, many comments and numerous private messages.

The lesson?

When you are vulnerable, people feel connected to you, and that leads them to trust you. This idea that you have to seem like you’ve “arrived” and “have it all figured out” to be a credible coach is total bull (and buying into is is REALLY stressful and unsustainable).

But Rebecca, if I’m vulnerable won’t I lose all my credibility?” I hear you ask.

Here’s my honest response to this very real question…

You are not qualified to coach on a particular topic because of the results you’ve produced (for yourself or others) or the place you’ve “arrived”. You are qualified because you are actively IN PROCESS with the subject around which you coach/teach/consult. You are qualified because you are wildly interested in/deeply committed to sifting through all the muck to find the gold.

Let me repeat: YOUR WORTH IS NOT YOUR RESULTS (at least not in the way that the world typically defines “results”).

Because when you conflate the two, you are pretty much guaranteed to periodically feel like total shit, because The Universe doesn’t really let us “arrive” anywhere. At least not for long.  We are inherently “in transit.” Change is awesomely (and at times, excruciatingly) unavoidable.

So let’s get practical here…so you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about and how it applies to you:

• You can be a love and relationship coach and go through a messy divorce.
• You can be a weight loss or health coach and have a health or an emotional eating flare up and gain weight.
• You can be a business coach and be in break down around your business, lose clients, have a failed lauch, etc.

Being “in it” (ya know, sifting through the emotionally messy, murky stuff) in a particular area does not disqualify or diminish your credibility in that area. It enhances it.

We can only take people as deep as we’ve gone. And if we want to be of MASSIVE SERVICE we have to get over our fear that we will lose our credibility if we tell the truth and “go there.”
Do you agree? Disagree? Would love to know…

As I prepare to re-launch my signature group program, Marketing Mastery, in August I’ve been reflecting on how much has changed since I first created the program in Jan 2015…

And it’s a lot.

At the time I had just moved out of my Mom’s basement in the suburbs and into a cute one-bedroom apartment in DC, was still working part time at my old job, and had JUST gotten clear that I wanted to be a marketing coach.

My days were spent trying to book discovery calls, watching every free marketing training/webinar I could get my hands on (I listened to all 200+ episodes of Gina Devee’s radio in the span of a few weeks), unsuccessfully trying my hand at Tinder (the stories I could tell you!) and reading angel cards/eating gluten free peanut butter cookie’s on Katie DePaola’s coach (they weren’t even that good but when your best friend is a health nut and it’s 2am…what else are you gonna do?).

It was a fun and exciting and totally terrifying time.

There were high highs (getting my first client as a marketing coach! Leading my first group coaching call! Hosting a workshop!) and low lows (having a client agree to work with me only to back out, having to defend my life decisions to skeptical family members who were “really worried about me”, and wondering if I really had what it took to earn enough money coaching to sustain myself).

Fast forward to now and my life (while anything but perfect) looks much different…

I move once a month to a new country (and plan to do so for the foreseeable future) and am constantly somewhere new and exotic. So far this year I’ve been to Uruguay, Argentina, Bolivia, Peru, London and Switzerland…and I’m just getting started.

I have a steady base of 1 on 1 clients who I FUCKING LOVE and who for the most part, completely adore me too. I feel deeply valued on a daily basis and like my work matters.

I have a boyfriend for the first time since I started my business…and it feels GOOD.

I’m MUCH more into intuition and energy healing than I used to be and am currently studying under she-shaman, Jody England, in a 9 month energy healing training program.

My view of what “success” looks like in this coaching world is much more nuanced than it once was.

I used to think that once I hit the holy grail of “$10k/month” all my problems would be solved.

(reality check: NOT true in the slightest).

Cliché as it might sound I now see my business as a journey rather than a destination. I know that no matter how much I achieve, new areas of growth will always present themselves. The experience of being “triggered” and having to work through it isn’t going anywhere (sorry to disappoint).

I also know what I’m capable of and have replaced the shallower self-confidence I used to have with a deep trust in my ability to help people shift at the deepest levels and help them grow aligned and fulfilling businesses.

Lastly, I’m kinder to myself than I used to be.

A funny thing happens when you spend your days hearing about the tender messy parts of other women’s lives…you realize that we’re all always “in it” and NOBODY is as “together” as they seem.

Self doubt is as universal and unavoidable as gravity.

As I’ve been reflecting I’ve felt a sense of peace begin to come over me–it’s cool to see how far I’ve come and acknowledge myself for all that has transpired (I’m a big believer that we don’t do this enough). I encourage you to take some time to do the same…

What’s shifted in your life in the last year and a half?

What are you proud of?

Any ah-has?

Would love to hear about them!