Do you have someone in your life that totally rubs you the wrong way?
I recently felt this way about a co-worker who, in my opinion, sounded like a bumbling, uninformed, and overconfident idiot every time she opened her mouth. Which was all the time. I would get irrationally irritated with her during our interactions and then feel really guilty afterward.
I decided to do some journaling around it (as I often do when puzzling emotions arise) and realized that she reminded me of myself three years ago when I first started working for my company. It was my first job out of college and I was essentially running my agency’s marketing department solo (and in WAY over my head). I felt tons of pressure and was constantly scrambling and trying to make it seem like I knew what I was talking about (read: acting like a bumbling, uninformed, and overconfident idiot).
I have since learned a ton and grown to love my job, but I never really processed that period of my life. I’ve essentially felt subconsciously embarrassed about the experience ever since. Through journaling, I realized that the reason my co-worker irritated me so much had little to do with her. She triggered an emotional response in me because she embodied how I once felt (but refused to consciously recognize). I’m happy to report that since gaining this awareness, I’m significantly less bothered by her and feel generally lighter.
I invite you to think about anyone in your life that really triggers you. Why do you think they have such a strong effect on you? Might they represent a shadow self or a situation from your past about which you still have unresolved feelings? Feel free to share in the comments below.